Unconventional free spirited freedom fighter by nature. I’m a hard core rebellion when it comes to liberty and independence. I would make the hell out of your day even if it means just to have a little piece of personal space. Let me be that free range lamb grazing grass peacefully while lost in my thoughts on that unchartered hill. I know perfectly what I am doing; go stick your nose elsewhere, no need to tell me where to graze. There is a saying that goes “As long as I can still feel the wind in my hair, my proverbial wings will remain tucked in. But remove the draft to my wanderlust and you might be left standing alone”. Well, of course unless a predator happens to come by and manage to capture my heart and get me all smitten – I’m all yours!
My mind almost always have something on. Most will believe I am in a perpetual daydream. I’m that person who’re living in the future that I’ve forgotten about the present. I often work on plans, problem solving, figuring things out or simply thinking about that person who warmed up my heart, and these are the times you will find me zoned out. My mind travels to places that would make very little sense to others, to the unconquered realms, beyond fathomable and imaginable thoughts.
Simple, you wouldn’t see me hanging around if I don’t want to. If I stick around, I just love being around you and spending time with you, often coming up with silly excuses just to hang out. Start me with something more than a superficial discussion about the weather; I admire intelligence and wittiness. I am madly in love with excitements and spontaneity; I’d ask you out for last minute trips without itineraries or plans and be prepared to have a pinch of everything including some quirkiness and eccentricity. If I’m on my solo trips (an escape from reality in search for eternal wisdom and pure adventure), a very few people I hold dear to heart will always be on my mind and those are the ones who will be showered with unexpected gifts from my adventures.
Generally, I’m not talkative (I prefer writing and texting) and I believe the comfortable silence between two persons can be just as good. Simply spending time in the presence of each other is all cool. I’ll try to avoid awkward silences as much as I possibly could but sometimes I just run out of things to say. I particularly hate it when it happens with someone I like or fancy when I stand there thinking “Fuck I’m going red, think of something to say“. Then I pretend to look cool with an air of detachment. So I wouldn’t blame anyone for thinking that I’m cold hearted and inhumane with a stiff upper lip. But once I get to know you more and feel at ease to let go I can be more chatty. Then when I get comfortable around you, I’m uncontrollable to your annoyance. Understand this and you’ll get to grip on how I roll.
Well, maybe that is just my nature being generally more quiet and reserved. The folklore is true that opposite attracts, like the polarity of two halves making a perfect whole – I admire those natural conversationalist; they strike conversations like striking a match. Well, if you’re the one who love to do the talking, feel free and assured to spill, I’m all ears to your rants and problems. I guard secrets like a Swiss Bank. Your shit is fiercely safeguarded; I’ve been through enough to know how to respect privacy, secrets, personal space and confidentiality.
Be genuine, no one person is perfect and it is only through a multitude of failures and vulnerabilities you are able to make progression. I’m comfortable with people from all walks of life. Be it the beggar from the streets, rape victims, drug addicts, cross-dressers, royalties, ministers or mobsters, I do not judge and I’m happy to get to know you only if you are genuine while extending that hand of friendship. Gain my respect and trust and I will be that loyal friend of yours, accepting you for who you are and that includes your flaws and vulnerabilities no matter how twisted or fucked up they are. Never treat me as an option though, walking away when a “better” fun is around is just plain selfishness. I want friendships that last, not as your spare tyre.
Put away those shiny trophies and medals, I’ve seen them all, I’ve already peeped on them from the corner of my eyes under your nose – I want to know the REAL you. You do not need to try very hard to impress an Aquarian. We’re those visionary people who’ve seen better days, beaten ourselves down on purpose in the name of experience, stripped off ego and pride in exchange for knowledge and wisdom. There are very few things in life that I’ve not seen. If I decide to be friends with you, it means I see some qualities in you and that you are a gem up for keeps close to my heart.
There are generally few facets of life that I live in. If I am merely an acquaintance or a new friend, I may be all smiley and polite, avoiding any discussions on feelings or emotions. Sometimes, if I’m not feeling all bright and sunny, you’ll get a sense that hell has frozen over for eternity as I pass by; aloof, detached, unemotional, a heart made of stone, and blood so cold running in my veins that you’ll begin to shudder in my presence – a full set of heavy armour I’ve build and worn over the years. Deep under these layers of armour, I struggle to quickly and silently pull myself back together while trying not to let my emotions and vulnerabilities get exposed.
While battling in pursuit of perfection and success, dealing with losses, heartbreaks and failures, the armour has grown so thick that I’ve learnt to take it as my very own skin. Very few has ever managed to pierce through the shield to find my true self, my weaknesses and my fears; the fear of rejection, criticisms, and ill intentions. I sear through those who try to get too close to where I hide my fears to keep my sacred heart safe and a test to your true intentions. Stand your ground and gain my trust, then slowly but surely I will crack my chest open and show you my raw, beating heart. If you happen to be the one I choose to allow a glimpse into my heart, do not take it for granted or consider me as being that crazy emotional bloke as it is not easy for me to open up to people. When you begin to learn what my troubles, weaknesses and fears are, it would mean that you have gained my trust enough for me to drop my armours and that you mean a whole lot to me, not being needy, weak or to devalue myself in your eyes. Accept me wholeheartedly and never be judgmental then slowly but surely I will reciprocate.
Be bold with me. Turn on that predator instinct of yours and get things going. Conquer my heart with your zest for life and warmth. Show me your life including the ugly side, bring me to places you frequent to, share your ups and downs, your interests – get me involved but don’t be hot and cold (it drives me nuts). Teach me how to live, and live with passion. I yearn not for a castle on a hilltop, but for a cabin in the woods, so that we can sit by the river that runs through the land and listen to the lessons the four directions has to share together. We could roll around in the morning dew in endless friendly banters or travel the world and conquer the uncharted territories together.
I suck at expressing emotions – I need time to warm up with you. I may be having a dead straight face but trust me, I’m searching for words, my palms will be sweating a river, my heart pounding in madness and my mind explodes like Krakatoa but once I am comfortable, you will know that you’re the most important person in my life (no doubts or qualms), the centre of universe, the ultimate one and only ad infinitum.
Well, having said that, it doesn’t necessarily mean we have to stick together twenty four seven. At times, you wander in your ivory city while I roam the forest of mystery, then we share our experience, discoveries and adventure at the end of the day.
I believe in it all – Islam, Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism but minus the rituals, blind faith, violence, ignorance and materialism. No one god will demand blind faith, material or monetary gains. I am devout to good teachings on life and morality but I’ll mentally filter out illogical things like obsessions, rituals and rites, ethnic customs and practices and any racialised or localised ideologies. God doesn’t have a race. Those golden bells, rosaries, incense, amazing robes, places of worship built in grandeur simply mean to me some creations to instigate an unwarranted sense of belief and develop human attachment. I dig things like “thou shall not kill” but not the expiating of sin by sacrifice or threat to send murderers to eternal hell. I believe one should not kill is simply to maintain peace, harmony and a notion of non-violence. I’m a vegetarian not because I’m a Buddhist or Hindu, or that I fear being punished for going against religious teachings by eating meat. I am because I simply respect life and I believe in peace and non-violence as preached. It is the heart and intention that matter, not what religious institution I am affiliated to.
This is an Aquarius, you will experience LOUDNESS in all silence and subtlety, know my mind and you will know me.
All Aquarians out there, say aye in agreement if you feel the same way. And to all other signs who love us Aquarians, drop a comment or two below to make us feel warm and fuzzy.